Pairing: Eleventh Doctor/River Song; Human AU
Rating: General (is there a rating for toddlers?)
I blame lizziecorday for this.
Fair warning, the imagery is cute- the writing is not. :(
"John! Have you seen my lipstick?"
As if in response, somewhere inside their small home, probably in her room, Essie giggles, making her father smile. He doesn’t even look up from his papers as he answers his wife, “No, dear.”
There is a shuffling sound that he can only attribute to his daughter’s tiny feet and a groan from said daughter’s mother as she continues her quest to find whatever it is she has lost.
"You do realise we are going to be late for your office party if I- are you even listening to me?!"
"I am. Of course, I am!" A sheepish smile on his face at being caught out, John puts aside his papers and gets up to help his wife. He grins as he spots his wife on her arms and knees, trying to look for the…something, “I always listen to you, Dr. Song.”
"Sorry, but I’m having a hard time believing that, sweetie", her eyes scanning the floor, River replies without looking at him, "Now if you could stop looking at my behind, and help me find my lipstick…."
He frowns as Essie giggles again, but nods dutifully, scanning the dressing table and other surfaces for the lost cosmetic. “River, can’t you use some other lipstick? It’s just a lipstick- I’m sure you have several of those.”
She pulls a face, her fingers bringing one of his lost pens from under the bed, “I can, but it is the only one that goes with this dress and my red shoes.”
His eyes automatically turn to look at her form at her words, a besotted smile curling at his lips as he notices her dress. “River—”
"The shoes!" her eyes widening, River looks up, her eyes scanning the room and coming to halt at a particular spot. A sigh escapes her, "Well, this is just brilliant. Eve the shoes are missing."
"You can wear some other shoes, may be?"
Her eyeroll indicates him that perhaps the response was not good enough. “No. I want those shoes. They were your favourite pair.”
"The red loubotins?"
She is barely able to nod, before he shoots up, frantically scanning the room for the shoes. He quickly moves to the living room, ignoring his daughter’s huffs and giggles, willing to search the whole house for the particular pair.
He is crouching at an awkward angle behind the sofa when River’s laughter reaches him. “Wha-“
"I believe I found all the missing things, sweetie", she grins, leaning against the door to Essie’s room. Bemused, John moves up to her, laughing when his gaze settles on their three year old as she tries to walk in her mother’s heels, red lipstick smeared all over her mouth, the fez sitting atop her curls slipping over her eyes.
Green eyes widen as the toddler spots her parents in the doorway before she makes her way to her mother at the latter’s encouraging smile.
"Essie wook pwetty wike Mummy?"
Even though addressing herself in third person is a habit River has been trying to break, she laughs softly and picks up the little girl in her lap, taking special care to push away the long train of her trench coat as it continues to droop and slip over Essie’s tiny frame. Pushing the fez off their daughter’s eyes, River adjusts it so it’s sitting at a jaunty angle, before pecking the toddler’s cheek, “Essie is prettier than Mummy.”
Essie returns the favour by giving her mother a particular wet kiss on the cheek, “Mummy more pwettier.”
John grins as he watches the exchange in front of him, folding up the sleeves of the trench coat to almost quarter of their size to fit Essie. “What about Dada? No one thinks Dada pretty?”
He huffs, pretending to look offended, as Essie crinkles her nose in a perfect imitation of her mother, making River laugh.
"If it helps, sweetie, I think you are very pretty-" He tries to maintain his pout as River pecks his cheek, finally grinning when Essie giggles.
"-minus the fez, of course."
He sputters at River’s declaration. “What’s wrong with my fez? Essie likes it. She is wearing it right now, River!”
Already in cahoots against him, his wife and daughter look at each other as the former studies the latter. “I’m guessing that’s because the fedora”, he gapes as River looks at Essie, who nods, as if in full understanding and confirmation to her mother’s words, “is kept at the topmost shelf, while your fez, miraculously saved from the burning you were supposed to have given it, was hidden under the bed.”
John grumbles at River’s smirk. “Yes, well”, he gets up with a sniff, “we are going to be late for the party. We also need to drop Essie at your parents’ for the night.”
Shaking her head, River makes a clicking sound with her tongue, “Who needs a party when you can play dress up?”
Before he could protest, Essie lets out a squeal in response to her mother’s words, effectively settling the matter.